This morning I awoke with a feeling of regret about not sharing with a friend when we visited yesterday, about all the wonderful things Bob and I were doing today on our wedding anniversary on this Valentine’s Day.
I was aware as I watched myself feeling this regret that I could feel it in my stomach. I realized it was my ego wanting attention, wanting to feel important about all the wonderful things it would be doing. At first I wanted to separate myself from the feeling, the craving for self importance. I realize how I usually try to push those feelings away as if that part of me is not a nice or good part of me. I want it to go away so I can be the spiritual person at all times without acknowledging that place in me that craves love and attention. Then I had a feeling of compassion for it as if it was a little child saying, I’m here too. Please pay attention to me.
If not me, who? Who will love that part of me that feels alone and scared, as if it will disappear if it does not get my attention. So I spoke to it and said, you are a very important part of me. You are part of my human nature and I love you. Come into the peace and love that is here for you. There is no need to stay separated out in the cold alone. I know who you are and I love you. You are a beloved part of me. You are home here in me. You can rest and feel secure. I will not hurt you. I will not abandon you. You are me and I am you and we truly are the ONE living in the heart of God.
After that I had such a feeling of compassion which I can feel right now. I feel it will help me to stop feeling badly when I eat something I think I shouldn’t. I might eat just one piece of that pie and savor it rather than two or three. It is probably my ego craving attention so it wants something that it knows will get my attention even if it’s negative attention. If I won’t feed it with my love and positive attention, it will get my negative attention.
What a great awareness for me today on this day of love. I can remember on this Valentine’s Day, 2016 that my ego is a place for me to practice being love. I have opened the door and invited it in to bask in this sea of love I feel right now.
Happy Valentine’s Day Beloved ego and all of you, my beloved friends.
I
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